'Tis the season

Growing up, I took many things for granted. Family, was one of them. Granted, I didn't grow up in the "sterotypical Canadian nuclear family" where balancing my parents' and grandparents' Chinese culture with the country they chose to immigrate to proved to be challenging at times. We fought and argued a lot. In hindsight, I was just rebelling and acting like a privileged kid who thought he knew best. Leaving them in my 20s finally gave me a sense of independence I had long yearned for since my pre-teen days.

I guess that's where perspective comes in. Once you leave, you start to notice things you've always taken for granted. From the notoriously full pantry, to the 3 dozen eggs always available in the fridge, to laundry being done and folded for you even when you didn't ask for it.. these little things I'm sure many can relate to. However, these things are easily managed. What I'm having trouble managing is being away for important holidays and celebrations. Christmas and Chinese New Year are two times during the year I feel extremely homesick.

No, it's not for the materialism and consumerism associated with both holidays, but rather they were the few times in the year where the entire family would actually gather together (and probably yell at one another for one reason or another), but still. Everyone was there together. Being away from home now for five years has taught me I miss these moments.

Sure, I have great friends here; friends who I tell things to my family would never ever know, but at the end of the day, they're "just" friends. Family is different. These are the people who have sacrificed so much of their life and time to ensure you grew up into someone respectable. My stubborn, bone-headed ways come from my dad, and my empathetic, nurturing side from my mom. My level-headedness from my grandpa, and my fiery side from my grandma. I see these qualities that I always used to clash or align myself with in me now. It's strange.

So here I am, alone on Christmas day. My family's thousands of kilometers away and I've never missed them more. I am grateful for the friends I have here. I am happy people care so I'm not completely alone on Christmas. I just wish I had my family here as well.

Merry Christmas to all.